Why I Hate You All

Dear Almost Everyone On The Internet,

I'm pissed off at you.

"Why?", you ask with an incredulous look on your face. Well, it's because you've ruined one of my favourite punctuation marks. You've overused, abused, and misused it so much that when I use it properly and appropriately, I'm marked as a fool. When I use this sometimes necessary punctuation mark, my writing is dragged down into the mud and scoffed at. "What a fool!" they say, snickering at my stupid face. And try as I might to convince them that I'm not a fool; that the mark isn't cheesy or the sign of someone not skilled in the art of writing; I just can't convince them. If only there was some way...

There! I hear all of you tisking away at me because I used an Ellipsis! Well, let me tell you something, I used that damned thing appropriately. You use it show an omission (like when you don't use a completed quote), or when it's an incomplete thought. That was an incomplete thought and if I'd finished it, it would have read: "If only there was some way I could show you that the Ellipsis isn't just used by people who have forgotten the rules of punctuation, and who use the Ellipsis as a period instead; but as a mark worthy of being used in situations that call for it." But, I chose to trail off of my thought to show just how hopeless my quest feels to me. Without those handy little three dots, I couldn't have conveyed my thoughts as elegantly as I wished to.

That's the problem, though; it isn't elegant anymore. People on Facebook or in emails use it as a period, or comma, or pretty much in place of any other sort of punctuation mark. Each post looks sort of like this:

      "I really hate when people misuse the Ellipsis... It's really annoying to see it used all the time... when really other punctuation marks should be used... Yes... I realize I sound like a bit of an arse... but I'm completely okay with that, because you make me sound like an arse when I use an Ellipsis..."

When it should really be punctuated like this:

      "I really hate when people misuse the Ellipsis. It's really annoying to see it used all the time, when really other punctuation marks should be used. Yes, I realize I sound like a bit of an arse, but I'm completely okay with that, because you make me sound like an arse when I use an Ellipsis."

So, when I use the Ellipsis, I end up looking like someone who doesn't quite understand punctuation. I'm not claiming to be a god of punctuation, and the rules of punctuation seem to be open to a lot of interpretation, but I know a fair bit about what I'm doing. Especially when I take the time to write something beyond a Tweet. Because of this overuse and misuse of the Ellipsis, you've essentially killed it and ruined it for writers who want to add a bit of a flourish to their written word. 

You've killed the Ellipsis. You murderer.

My Passion

At the risk of being hanged from my ankles by my Advertising peers, I'm going to admit the dirty little secret I notice that most of you seem to be hiding. I'm not passionate about Ads. There, I said it. Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief while they sharpen their pitchforks. "But wait!", I type into my blog, fully knowing that everyone will stop getting ready to kill me because this is my blog, and fuck you. I 100% love Advertising. "That doesn't make any sense!", you cry, helplessly at my command yet again. Well hold on to your Veggie Nugets, because I'm going to Fart a little more at you.

What we are all really passionate about is Creating. Yes, with a capital C, because this is my blog, and fuck you. Ads are just our medium that we chose to work in, just like painters chose the canvas, actors chose the stage and sculptors choose the unemployment line (i jest). We'd be just as happy doing any of that, as long as we get to create some really cool things. The amazing part of Advertising is the multitude of different media that it lets you explore, and that's what draws it to me. Billboards, print, T.V., online, social media, radio, or whatever the hell you want. If you want to put a giant swimming pool filled with milky water and inflatable tubes made to look like Chocolate Cheerios in the middle of Dundas Square, you can do that (provided you can get the client to sign off on it). And because I can build a giant cereal bowl that I can swim in, that's why I chose Advertising as my medium.

So, just a quick recap. Passion = Creating. Medium = Advertising. I could go off to be a novelist, and be just as happy as I would be in Advertising because it is still something creative. The only place where we wouldn't be happy is in a job where we can't be creative, and if you ever find yourself in one of those soul sucking jobs, get the hell out of it! They are completely awful, and I would never wish a creative person into one; no matter how much they may annoy me.

And now, I'm going to show you a picture of a bear. Because it's my blog, and fuck you.

Photo cred: Some random person who's picture I found on Google. Thanks, random person!