Why I Hate You All

Dear Almost Everyone On The Internet,

I'm pissed off at you.

"Why?", you ask with an incredulous look on your face. Well, it's because you've ruined one of my favourite punctuation marks. You've overused, abused, and misused it so much that when I use it properly and appropriately, I'm marked as a fool. When I use this sometimes necessary punctuation mark, my writing is dragged down into the mud and scoffed at. "What a fool!" they say, snickering at my stupid face. And try as I might to convince them that I'm not a fool; that the mark isn't cheesy or the sign of someone not skilled in the art of writing; I just can't convince them. If only there was some way...

There! I hear all of you tisking away at me because I used an Ellipsis! Well, let me tell you something, I used that damned thing appropriately. You use it show an omission (like when you don't use a completed quote), or when it's an incomplete thought. That was an incomplete thought and if I'd finished it, it would have read: "If only there was some way I could show you that the Ellipsis isn't just used by people who have forgotten the rules of punctuation, and who use the Ellipsis as a period instead; but as a mark worthy of being used in situations that call for it." But, I chose to trail off of my thought to show just how hopeless my quest feels to me. Without those handy little three dots, I couldn't have conveyed my thoughts as elegantly as I wished to.

That's the problem, though; it isn't elegant anymore. People on Facebook or in emails use it as a period, or comma, or pretty much in place of any other sort of punctuation mark. Each post looks sort of like this:

      "I really hate when people misuse the Ellipsis... It's really annoying to see it used all the time... when really other punctuation marks should be used... Yes... I realize I sound like a bit of an arse... but I'm completely okay with that, because you make me sound like an arse when I use an Ellipsis..."

When it should really be punctuated like this:

      "I really hate when people misuse the Ellipsis. It's really annoying to see it used all the time, when really other punctuation marks should be used. Yes, I realize I sound like a bit of an arse, but I'm completely okay with that, because you make me sound like an arse when I use an Ellipsis."

So, when I use the Ellipsis, I end up looking like someone who doesn't quite understand punctuation. I'm not claiming to be a god of punctuation, and the rules of punctuation seem to be open to a lot of interpretation, but I know a fair bit about what I'm doing. Especially when I take the time to write something beyond a Tweet. Because of this overuse and misuse of the Ellipsis, you've essentially killed it and ruined it for writers who want to add a bit of a flourish to their written word. 

You've killed the Ellipsis. You murderer.